Judge Steven Seeger of the United States District Court for the Northern District of Illinois recently issued a tart two-page excoriation of a lawyer who was demanding an emergency hearing—yes, by telephone—on his Motion for a Temporary Restraining Order in a trademark infringement case involving artistic fantasy images of unicorns, elves, and sundry other items. The hearing had been put off for a few weeks due to the coronavirus pandemic, but the lawyer moved for rehearing of the scheduling order and then moved for emergency relief before the Chief Judge.

On first reading, the opinion is only an attack on the lawyer for failing to understand what constitutes a real emergency. A passage near the end of the opinion suggests that it might also be an appeal to the lawyer to get his client under control.